To the Daughter I Never Had, I’m Sorry
My world expects me to have you. And for that, it seems I’m not enough.
I don’t know how to start, but maybe with a “sorry.”
I’m sorry, we never had a chance to meet.
Time has passed me by, and I cannot tick it back to have you, my dear.
I would have loved you to be here.
I wish I could hug you or comb your hair.
Tie your shoes.
And, fix your ponytail.
I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me, my dear
The world is waiting for you to come.
And are waiting to mold you into what they want.
But be what you want to be, my dear.
You can be a singer or a dancer. Be a math teacher, be an engineer.
The world is full of choices, and you are free to choose.
I hope you won’t capitulate to what the world wants you to be.
Don’t allow others to make you feel inadequate. You are not your job or your achievement.
Being you is enough.
Always remember that.
You are different for a reason. Go deep and understand your mission. Stay away from superficiality. Otherwise, you will end up unhappy.
In my world, there are many reasons to be unhappy, but it doesn’t mean you cannot be happy.
Sometimes, I think about what you are like.
Would you be an introvert or an extrovert? Or, maybe you are someone in between.
Your personality could sometimes make you or break you. Thus, understand yourself well. Nurture your strengths and fight your demons. Don’t be afraid to go deep and face the real ‘you’ from within.
If you are an extrovert, make sure you know what it means to be one. You are natural with people but don’t go overboard. Be the life of the party but remember that the world does not revolve around you.
If you are an introvert, appreciate your deep sense of life. But don’t overthink all the time. You may not be natural with people, but your profound perspective in life affects the people around you.
Regardless of your personality, I wish you were here to enjoy life, my dear. I long to hear your laughter or even listen to your cries.
I will wipe your tears, kiss your wounds, and tuck you every night.
If only I could, my dear.
My world expects me to have you. And for that, it seems I’m not enough.
But no worries.
I don’t want you to have that burden to complete me.
It’s not fair to you.
My being me doesn’t depend on you.
Neither of us is at fault. Your time and mine didn’t cross. So, let’s be at peace with that.
My world sometimes is judgmental, but it still is an amazing one.
You would have loved climbing trees and smelling the daisies. And, maybe smile when you receive a bouquet of red roses.
Life is difficult, but it’s also full of surprises.
I wish you were here so we could travel together. There’s uniqueness in every place — landscapes, people, culture, and languages.
We call that diversity, my dear.
But wherever I go, there is a language common to all. And I call that the universal language of kindness.
Remember, I am your mother, and you are my daughter.
If given a chance again to have a passport to earth, I wish our timeline would meet. If not your birth mother, maybe as your best friend, aunt, or teacher.
Whenever that is, I could only wish for our time to intersect.
If only we could, my dear.
Sometimes, I wonder why you are not here.
Maybe my world is not ready for you.
Are you too precious to be born?
Or, too beautiful for my world?
Perhaps, my world is not your world, my dear.
Just wait for yours to unfold.
Maybe, your world is still evolving as it should.
NOTE: I dedicate this article to all who longed to have a daughter of their own. And to all my daughters who were born from other wombs. To you, my readers, thank you for taking the time. A shout out to my writing buddy https://flopatsy.medium.com/
